| feeling hella good |
[11 May 2003|05:29pm] |
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I thought today was going to be boring, but someone, a certain someone out of all people took me out to lunch. Even if it was just Carls Junior, it was still cool and afterwards we went to the arcade. Thank you for being there for me, Nate!
Yes so Gwenny is out of her emo-shell. Ready to jump back into the game of life, ready to take on whatever comes her way. Life is good and life is short, so lets live it up. Huh, people? :D
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| T.R.I.C |
[08 May 2003|01:55pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Tric by Otep |
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What do I have to do..to prove myself to you? I've sacrificed myself opon the threshold of everything that you defy. I've put my name to shame for you.. more than twice.. for nothing. Turn your head, look away, walk away. Break my heart again. I'm tired of being used. I'm so sick of hearing all the lies that you say.. I'm coming back up. I'm sick of being down! You build me up, to tear down. I'm stuck. I don't recognize my own face. I've lost myself inside your game again. You build me up to tear me down.
"I'm stuck, again." -I said.
Far fetched as it all may seem.. I'm a picture in your head.. not just a dream. You've made me out to be something that I'm not.. you're not the same.. . you've crushed my persona into the corner of this frame. I'm slowly cracking.. I'm gonna breaking out...but why am I so afraid?
"Why aren't you leaving?" -He said.
'Higher beings' what do you want from me? You've bestowed enough discomfort already.. I feel betrayed. I feel like taking everything you've ever given me and setting it a blaze. I feel lost. I feel like jumping off the edge of sanity and pulling you down with me. I feel sad. I feel like letting my brown eyes cry until the tears stream the color down my cheeks. I feel you. I feel like hitting the walls with my fists until they bleed. I feel angry. I feel like tearing the hair from my head and handing it to you for luck. You hurt me, I hurt you.
"Don't make me hurt you, hurt me." -I said.
I've strived to reach the top, I've fallen and dusted myself off. I cry for everything I know I can never be. You put me up on the pedestal. If I had my way you'd be left out in the fucking cold. I'm only human. I cry. I scream. I pray. I feel. I bleed. I hurt, just like you. If only I was strong enough to hold my own.... I'm stuck all over again.
"You can't struggle in quicksand." -He said.
"Then lets end it on this" -I said
And we did. The marraige was short lived. We did not survive the storm. So as two ships pass by each other in the twilight, we have taken different paths and ventures. I will strive to find some meaning to this life. As I hope that you have a great one with your's, Gavin. Thank you for the lessons, the heartfelt times, and the memories. It was fun and we will always have the photographs to look back on.
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